my day to day

assalamualaikum.... em... just realize that i have not been writing quite sometimes... the last was on last monday... lately i bit busy with personal and family life... although i'm housewife for 3 months, (as planned) i still have a lot of agenda to do... cooking, playing games in fb, calling aunties and accompany dad going here and there... last 2 week, my family and i went back to jb to spend time with grandpa and my 2 aunties... then last week, we when back to jb again.. this round is because there tahlil and doa selamat for the whole family... although, feeling a bit tired, but still i enjoyed myself... not only happy gathering with uncles, aunties and cousins... but also soooo touched when cousins and aunties "pampered" me with good and delicious food... mana la tak gemuk?? he he he... for the last 10 days, i'm a bit worried with myself... got spotting and bleeding.. it is not much... only when i urine, i can see a thin string of blood.. sometime red.. sometime chocolate colour... emmm... i did rush to O & G emergency when it's still spotting after a week... i feel a bit relief when the MO doc told me that just patient and have plenty of rest... the spotting / bleeding has 2 possiblity.. either pregnancy is slowly develop or miscarriage... i'm praying hard for tomorrow ( 14/1 appointment with prof. hashim)... hope for the good news... ya allah, tolong lah hambamu nie... ampunlah segala dosa ku... kurniakanlah aku zuriat ya allah... aminnnn... yesterday evening, as i'm looking at one of my cousin's profile in fb, i suddenly noted that she has a blog... huh!! terror nie... i never know... once i read it, i'm so amazed.... she not only sharing some interesting stories but she is soooo cute funny... reena, keep writing.. keep this good job!! kak lisa soo proud of you!!! your are my inspiration... :) my aim now is to write in my blog everyday starting today.. may be this is the best way to "pour out" what i feel... do wait for more stories soon... :) wasalam

Harapan di tahun baru...

assalamualaikum... cepat betul masa berjalan... tup tap tup tap dah masuk tahun 2010.. rasanye ade yang diplan tuk buat 2009 pun belum 100% achieve.. nampak gayanya kena carry forward la ya... actually banyak nak buat dalam tahun 2010... ape pun, i need to take step by step.... kang nanti org kata yang di kejar tak dapat, yang dikendong keciciran.. ewahhh... :P this year, i harap dan doa banyak2 moga allah murahkanlah rezeki kami sekeluarga... biarlah this year bole ade zuriat after trying to do iui on 4 dec 2009... frankly for the last 3.5 weeks, everthing look ok... alhamdulillah no bleeding... cuma start on 2 jan tilll 4 jan ade bleeding and spotting sikit2... hopefully nie beleeding cause janin tu nak melekat kat rahim... minta2 la for the best.... i really hoping so much to get baby soon.. at least selain buat zam happy, bole la ade teman buat abah kat umah nanti.. kalu dak, sunyi sepi aje umah... ya allah, aku memohon padamu ya allah... semoga kau berilah aku zuriat yang sempurna, soleh dan sehat.. tolonglah hambamu ini ya allah... aminnn... selain tu, semoga allah panjangkan umur dan sehatkan tubuh badan kami sekeluarga... me n zam nak buat abah happy selalu... cukuplah selama nie abah sedey dan kecewa ngan perangai seorang yang bernama anak lelaki... selama nie abahdan mak sayang sangat dia.... tapi akhirnya dia saman abah sebab nak harta arwah mak... tak pernah lawat kubur mak... tabur fintah kat me and abah... selain tu, kurang ajar dan derhaka pada abah.. sampai sekarang masih lagi nak berdendam ngan abah sebab nak rebut harta... tah la ape nak jadi dengan orang nie... biarlah allah tunjukkan dia jalan yang benar... semoga satu hari nanti dia akan sedar, tiada siapa yang berkuasa di dunia nie melainkan allah swt.... semoga juga pekerjaan ku dan suami kumendapat berkat dari allah swt... dah masuk 2 bulan unpaid nie rasa syok pulak duduk umah... selain bole rest well, bole concentrate jaga umah n abah... seronot jadi housewife... tapi bila pikir balik, cian pulak zam aje yang keje.. kadang2 tu nak mintak duit dia pun tak sampai hati... dah la kat opis dia byk politic... bukan dia yang bermasalah tapi org2 opis kat dia bermasalah... it's better i don't eleborate much.. kang abis terkuar cite2 yang tak patut kuar... bak kata zam.. i reserved my comment.... think that's all for now... nak gi masak ketam masak lemak n bubur pulut itam... :) wasalam

Abah...

assalamualaikum...

today, i feel that i want to write about my lovely abah... lately, i don't know why i feel so touched whenever i look at abah.. his face expression shown something worries him.. he does not what to share what is in his mind.. sometimes i did ask myself why i have this such feeling... but till now i could not get the answer... nape yek?? 

what i can see about abah, alhamdulillah he has a "strong" heart.. since last 3 years, after mak passed away on 11 Oct 2006 (18 Ramadan 1427H), abah has become a tough and brave man ... even now, he can really control him emotion... to him, any difficulties and misunderstanding occur, he will go through it and ensure the matter solve wisely... only that he need me n zam support on whatever he did... don't worry abah, we will always be beside u... sayang abah!

pity to abah as he fell down last thursday evening.. what i remember that evening was, abah just back from jogging.. as usual, he will do gardening after that... suddenly, that evening, he rushed in the house... he's mouths and lips is full of blood... some cut on his nose, cheek and hand.. his shirt is dirty with sand and blood... ya allah!! nape ngan abah nie.. i know he is in pain but he does not want to show cause he don't want me and servant worried... we helped him to clean the wound... pity abah...

then, on last sun, abah got a fever.. zam took him to the clinic in the morning... however, in the afternoon, he feel tired.. pity abah again... ya allah! sembuhkanlah abah dari penyakitnya... kasihanilah dia ya allah... aminnn... today is the 2nd day and he is still feeling tired... if tomorrow the situation still the same, me and zam going to bring him to clinic again... alahaii, risaunyaaaa... 

to me now is what i can do as a daughter is to give him support at all time..

abah, don't worry ya... me and zam always love you forever... we will always be your right and left hand.. we want you to be happy and enjoy your precious life...

baby sayang abah tau!!

IUI procedure - 4 Dec 09

assalamualaikum...

since last friday lepas buat iui, memang dah plan nak tulis sikit about the process. but last few days memang bz... hari jumaat memang satu hari dok baring cause perut sakit sangat.. hari sabtu gi jb and balik ari ahad malam... then, hari senin and selasa, abah strongly advised me to lying and have a good rest.. no playing with computer.. abah nampak aje, terus dia perli.. "ala, macam zam kata kalu bercucuk tanam tapi tak dpt hasil dia buat ape"... eeeeee... terus tido macam baby.... :)

about my iui nie, memang la kali nie kena i make sure myself fully rest.. this time the "egg" in the ovari , alhamdulillah besar seperti yg doc nak.. kena cucuk puregron pun 8 hari aje... abis perut biru2 cucuk sendiri... then on the actual day, buat iui kul 9.30am... fush masa tu perut rasasenak n sakit sangat.. tak tahu macam mana nak cerita.. nak jalan, duduk and baring pun tak selesa... dah jadi macam nenek kebayan pulak... sakitttttnyaaaaaaaa... tapi sabo aje la... it all because nak anak.. ape pun tawakal dan berdoa banyak...

hoping for the good news on the 31 dec 09 bila jumpa doc.. insyallah dengan izan allah swt.

aminnnn

Atok...

assalamulaikum...

when i'm writing this, atok has just discharged from Johor Specialist. syukur alhamdulillah he is allow to rest at home.. kesian gak tengok dia duduk kat dalam bilik yg tak ade tingkap... he must be confuse it is a day time or a night time... if i were him, i will be bored to be in that room too.. dah la malap... lampuflorescen t 2 aje... it's all because the hospital is going for renovation on all the single and vip rooms... alahaiii...

nape tah tiba2 since friday, lepas my iui treatment, i feel an easy and keep thinking about atok... alhamdulillah on saturday morning, abah and zam agreed to go back to jb. we rushed packing and managed to depart around 12 noon... at 4.30pm, we arrived jb and straight to the hospital... bila masuk aje, nampak atuk tengah baring.. nampak macam letih aje.. cian atukk.. what i can do now is to doa and pray for his good health... as one of my cousin told me, we need to give atok moral support, love and caring..

although i'm not too close my atok since small, i know he loved all his grandchildren... atok suka cite zaman jepun and zaman muda2 dia.. one thing is funny about atok is he love to fart... :)... kalu kentut, wowowo kuattttttttt... prottttttt... he he he... lepas kentut, mesti dia senyum.. that's why bila kecik2 dulu, atok kentut aje, cucu2 dia sure tutup idung.. he he he... he is a good and caring grandpa... i can still remember.. when i was small, if i'm in jb and once he is back from the market, he will call me and bring me around with his dark blue vespa around the housing area.. i will be standing in front so that i can play the horn.. he he he he.. tapi bila dia marah, jgn main2.. 

but yesterday, i feel soo different when i see him.. lying weak on the bed masa buat dialisis.. bila usap kepala dia, dia bole tido nyenyak.. bila kite baca ayat al quran, mulut dia terkumat kamit ikut ape yang kite baca... kadang2 tu, dia angkat tangan macam berdoa... i really cannot control my emotional... ya allah, sembuhkan lah atok ku.. sehatkanlah tubuh badannya.. kasihanilah dia ya allah... aminnn...

in coming jan, atok will be 90 year old... hope we could celebrate his birthday again... insyallah...