after 9th day......

assalamualaikum... hello... i'm back again... argh!!!!! again, my laziness managed to control me.. bak org tue2 kata hangat2 si taik ayam... he he he he... i really don't know why i have been quite lazy and not active after doc told me about my miscarrige... sometimes i do feel body aching, back ache and uneasy.... may be this is one of the reason i have no mood to write... emm.. i think i have to do something to give me some motivated to write in this blog....  we should do it if we feel happy with it right?? yes, lisa can do it!!!!! last saturday, hubby was not well.. gotten a slight flu... i tot nie mesti tak bole pi jalan nie.... alahaiii... buringnyaa duduk rumah... sekali that evening, after having tea together, he asked "nak pi bagan lalang tak??" ... huhh biar benor org tue nie... he he he... mestilah kite jawab YES, nak piiiiiiiiii... so, that evening after maghrib, we went to bagan lalang with zam's brother, atan and family... atan's sister in law with family also came along.. meeting them at sepang before heading to bagan lalang... about 12 of us including 2 small kids (below 2 years old) having a nice and wonderful dinner... we had sotong masak tepung, udang masak tepung, kailan goreng, cencaru bakar sumbat, ikan siakap masak stim, ketam masak masam manis and kupang masak cili.. together with the dishes, we had nasik puteh and 4 jags (2 each) of air sirap and fresh oren... total was around RM300tt... okey la tu.. kirenya macam eat till you kebontang laa... we arrived there around 9.30pm and heading back to kl around 11.45pm.. sampai rumah at 1am terus bommm... tido sampai tak ingat dunia... still remember what one of my close friend, chin like to say... sleep like a pig!!.. he he he... then, the next sunday, we had a family gathering... again, we did have a good makan.... mana la tak gemuk???  my 2 darling aunties from gombak and seremban came to our home with her son and family... also there, my 2 cousins, rezal and hanisah... i fried sotong masak tepung and ayam goreng... suzie cooked nasi puteh and sayur kacang pjg goreng... then abah and zam bought kari ikan from kayu's restaurant... air rub bir cordial... mak teh brought sayur campur cap cai... then, the dessert were pau kacang merah and popia... nyam nyam.... only in the evening, my aunty's daughter (the one from seremban) came with her hubby and my lovely cousin, reena came to our home... although tired, we did have a great time together.. hope we could have this makan2 again... actually nothing much to story about last monday till yesterday... as usual, zam is busy with his worked.. somtimes we managed to eat dinner together.. but mostly, he only took his dinner around 11pm... takat nak teman makan tu bole la... tapi nak makan sama2 tak mampu den... lapoooo sangat.. one more thing... syukur sangat yg bengkak kat leher suzie dah mula surut... did went for followup check up on sat's morning at the same clinic... doc confirmed that she don't have TB or any other serious sickness... alahmdulillah... she is soo happy... keluar2 clinic aje terus ajak beli bawang... hishh, makcik nie... tadi nampak lembik aje kat clinic... sekali bila doc kata ok.. keluar clinic senyum aje... seronot la tu... pegi kedai pun macam2 nak beli... biarkan asal dia bahagia sudah laa.... he he he he.... no idea laa... chowww.. wasalam

the 4th times....

assalamualaikum.... yesterday my day was ok in the morning... i cooked asam pedas ikan merah and labu masak lemak for him... nothing much to do... after cooking, i rest till lunch time... no mood to play games in fb... i'm so worried about on my checkup.... my doc appointment was at 5pm... i called the cab at 4.15pm and the taxi driver drived slowly to hukm... alhamdulillah, my hubby managed to go to the doc together with me as he drove from work in bangi... when i told doc about my spotting and bleeding, he is un happy... he told me that his aimed is no more miscarrige from me in coming... he checked me via scan and confirmed that i had my recurrent abortion again... this is because there is a thin white line on my ovum... ya allah, this is my 4th times having miscarrige... hanya allah yg tahu macam mana perasaan ini pada masa tu... hubby this asked him why this always occured... he told us that may be the inside of my body is too hot.. that's why the fetus cann't stay long... the most is 5 months... my doc claimed that he is still searching ways on how to handle me... ya allah, aku redha dengan ape yang terjadi padaku... ampunlah dosa-dosaku ya allah... ya allah, berilah sehat tubuh badan ku agar aku dapat mengandung tanpa menghadapi kepayahan... aminn..... doc's next plan is for me to do my iui again by next month... yesterday, he prescribed me some more medicines... metaformin, fomera and diane... he told my hubby and i to be patient.... insyallah kalu ade rezeki tu adalah... ya allah, berilah aku kekuatan ya allah... berilah aku ketabahan untuk menghadapi semua ini... when i think back... i know that during my last iui procedure, i have to go through lots of obstacles.... abah demam denggi... atuk sakit kat hospital... suzie bengkak di tekak... ya allah, semua yang aku sayang dan risau sangat bila dia org sakit... ape pun, i will never blame to anyone... to me, nie semua allah yang tentukan... bak kata zam.. ape yang berlaku hanya allah yang tahu.. kite sebagai hambanya kena terima dengan ikhlas... insyallah kalu kite buat semua dengan ikhlas, satu hari allah akan balas... insyallah.. aminn... that's all for now... will write more soon....

yesterday and today.....

assalamulaikum... nothing much i could share about yesterday on what i have done... as usual, morning i played all games in fb.. around 11.30am, i cooked for family.. yesterday menu - daging masak kicap... other dishes like ikan goreng and taugeh goreng is cooked by my servant... then, i countined playing the games till lunch time (make sure taking shower before eating)... after having rest an hour and praying, i countined playing games again till tea time... rest again to watch tv3 akasia drama - cinta balqis before i continue playing till dinner... while my servant busy preparing the dinner, she told me that she is worried of herself... a few days before she realised there is a swelling near her throat... huhh... when i asked her, r u in pain? she says "NO"... but she keep "pestering" me to give a definite answer on what happen to her... she keep on asking why and how could this happen... hey, how do i know!!! alamakk, i'm not a doctor laaa.... i cann't stand till i say.." suzie, pls la jgn kasi saya stress... kamu duduk depan kejap ya.. nanti bila bapak pulang kite pegi clinic".. i felt sorry for her as she he so panic... i cann't deny that i'm also panic... :]... alhamdulillah, abah back from surau 10 minutes later... i explained to abah and asked him to drive us to clinic mutiara in bukit indah.... all the way from home to clinic, again my servant keep on repeating, talking and asking what has actually happen to her... she is sooo worry if she cann't work anymore... alahaiii, dia nie... terlalu obsess sampai buat semua panic and stress... doc has confirmed that suzie's gland is swelling... there's 2 possibilities, it's either due to bacteria or tuberculosis (batuk kering).... for now, doc prescribe antibiotic. mineral and pain killer to treat the swelling... however, if the swelling getting worse after a week, we then need to refer her to the hospital..... dugaan dugaan... today, the swelling on her neck has a bit improved.. on that she feel her neck a bit sprain... aiyooo.... tapi macam nie still degil tu.. ade ke makan obat tanpa makan?? hishhh... sabo aje leeeeeeeeee arghhh... stress la macam nie... mana nak pikir kesihatan abah and keje zam... then, now have to think about suzie's condition... haiyoooo... what can i do is berzikir byk2... dada nie dah tahan sabo... kalu tak tahan dah pecah dah... arghhhh... today at 5pm, i'm having my doc's appoint at hukm... i may get my result on my iui procedures that i did on 4 dec 09.... hope the answer is +ve.... insyallah... ya allah.. tolonglah hamba mu nie... alamak... suddenly otak blank bila pikir pasal petang nie.. opss.. sowee... just wait for my next sharing ya.... take care... wasalam

my day to day

assalamualaikum.... em... just realize that i have not been writing quite sometimes... the last was on last monday... lately i bit busy with personal and family life... although i'm housewife for 3 months, (as planned) i still have a lot of agenda to do... cooking, playing games in fb, calling aunties and accompany dad going here and there... last 2 week, my family and i went back to jb to spend time with grandpa and my 2 aunties... then last week, we when back to jb again.. this round is because there tahlil and doa selamat for the whole family... although, feeling a bit tired, but still i enjoyed myself... not only happy gathering with uncles, aunties and cousins... but also soooo touched when cousins and aunties "pampered" me with good and delicious food... mana la tak gemuk?? he he he... for the last 10 days, i'm a bit worried with myself... got spotting and bleeding.. it is not much... only when i urine, i can see a thin string of blood.. sometime red.. sometime chocolate colour... emmm... i did rush to O & G emergency when it's still spotting after a week... i feel a bit relief when the MO doc told me that just patient and have plenty of rest... the spotting / bleeding has 2 possiblity.. either pregnancy is slowly develop or miscarriage... i'm praying hard for tomorrow ( 14/1 appointment with prof. hashim)... hope for the good news... ya allah, tolong lah hambamu nie... ampunlah segala dosa ku... kurniakanlah aku zuriat ya allah... aminnnn... yesterday evening, as i'm looking at one of my cousin's profile in fb, i suddenly noted that she has a blog... huh!! terror nie... i never know... once i read it, i'm so amazed.... she not only sharing some interesting stories but she is soooo cute funny... reena, keep writing.. keep this good job!! kak lisa soo proud of you!!! your are my inspiration... :) my aim now is to write in my blog everyday starting today.. may be this is the best way to "pour out" what i feel... do wait for more stories soon... :) wasalam

Harapan di tahun baru...

assalamualaikum... cepat betul masa berjalan... tup tap tup tap dah masuk tahun 2010.. rasanye ade yang diplan tuk buat 2009 pun belum 100% achieve.. nampak gayanya kena carry forward la ya... actually banyak nak buat dalam tahun 2010... ape pun, i need to take step by step.... kang nanti org kata yang di kejar tak dapat, yang dikendong keciciran.. ewahhh... :P this year, i harap dan doa banyak2 moga allah murahkanlah rezeki kami sekeluarga... biarlah this year bole ade zuriat after trying to do iui on 4 dec 2009... frankly for the last 3.5 weeks, everthing look ok... alhamdulillah no bleeding... cuma start on 2 jan tilll 4 jan ade bleeding and spotting sikit2... hopefully nie beleeding cause janin tu nak melekat kat rahim... minta2 la for the best.... i really hoping so much to get baby soon.. at least selain buat zam happy, bole la ade teman buat abah kat umah nanti.. kalu dak, sunyi sepi aje umah... ya allah, aku memohon padamu ya allah... semoga kau berilah aku zuriat yang sempurna, soleh dan sehat.. tolonglah hambamu ini ya allah... aminnn... selain tu, semoga allah panjangkan umur dan sehatkan tubuh badan kami sekeluarga... me n zam nak buat abah happy selalu... cukuplah selama nie abah sedey dan kecewa ngan perangai seorang yang bernama anak lelaki... selama nie abahdan mak sayang sangat dia.... tapi akhirnya dia saman abah sebab nak harta arwah mak... tak pernah lawat kubur mak... tabur fintah kat me and abah... selain tu, kurang ajar dan derhaka pada abah.. sampai sekarang masih lagi nak berdendam ngan abah sebab nak rebut harta... tah la ape nak jadi dengan orang nie... biarlah allah tunjukkan dia jalan yang benar... semoga satu hari nanti dia akan sedar, tiada siapa yang berkuasa di dunia nie melainkan allah swt.... semoga juga pekerjaan ku dan suami kumendapat berkat dari allah swt... dah masuk 2 bulan unpaid nie rasa syok pulak duduk umah... selain bole rest well, bole concentrate jaga umah n abah... seronot jadi housewife... tapi bila pikir balik, cian pulak zam aje yang keje.. kadang2 tu nak mintak duit dia pun tak sampai hati... dah la kat opis dia byk politic... bukan dia yang bermasalah tapi org2 opis kat dia bermasalah... it's better i don't eleborate much.. kang abis terkuar cite2 yang tak patut kuar... bak kata zam.. i reserved my comment.... think that's all for now... nak gi masak ketam masak lemak n bubur pulut itam... :) wasalam