the 4th times....

assalamualaikum.... yesterday my day was ok in the morning... i cooked asam pedas ikan merah and labu masak lemak for him... nothing much to do... after cooking, i rest till lunch time... no mood to play games in fb... i'm so worried about on my checkup.... my doc appointment was at 5pm... i called the cab at 4.15pm and the taxi driver drived slowly to hukm... alhamdulillah, my hubby managed to go to the doc together with me as he drove from work in bangi... when i told doc about my spotting and bleeding, he is un happy... he told me that his aimed is no more miscarrige from me in coming... he checked me via scan and confirmed that i had my recurrent abortion again... this is because there is a thin white line on my ovum... ya allah, this is my 4th times having miscarrige... hanya allah yg tahu macam mana perasaan ini pada masa tu... hubby this asked him why this always occured... he told us that may be the inside of my body is too hot.. that's why the fetus cann't stay long... the most is 5 months... my doc claimed that he is still searching ways on how to handle me... ya allah, aku redha dengan ape yang terjadi padaku... ampunlah dosa-dosaku ya allah... ya allah, berilah sehat tubuh badan ku agar aku dapat mengandung tanpa menghadapi kepayahan... aminn..... doc's next plan is for me to do my iui again by next month... yesterday, he prescribed me some more medicines... metaformin, fomera and diane... he told my hubby and i to be patient.... insyallah kalu ade rezeki tu adalah... ya allah, berilah aku kekuatan ya allah... berilah aku ketabahan untuk menghadapi semua ini... when i think back... i know that during my last iui procedure, i have to go through lots of obstacles.... abah demam denggi... atuk sakit kat hospital... suzie bengkak di tekak... ya allah, semua yang aku sayang dan risau sangat bila dia org sakit... ape pun, i will never blame to anyone... to me, nie semua allah yang tentukan... bak kata zam.. ape yang berlaku hanya allah yang tahu.. kite sebagai hambanya kena terima dengan ikhlas... insyallah kalu kite buat semua dengan ikhlas, satu hari allah akan balas... insyallah.. aminn... that's all for now... will write more soon....